Carnival of Wealth, September 4 Edition

This is technically more county fair than carnival, but whatever

Is it Sunday already? First Sunday of the month? Then we hope you made the minimum payment on your credit card bill, and will have the balance paid off by 2027. Without further ado, here are the latest personal finance blog posts that made the cut. Again, these are actual posts from actual people (and maybe an SEO robot or two):

BREAKING NEWS: Starting next week, we’re moving the Carnival back a few hours. It’ll now post on Monday mornings here in North America. That should add a little excitement to the lives of our readers who work in offices, especially those in the Eastern Time Zone, as they sit at their desks madly refreshing the page and anticipating the Carnival’s arrival in their dull, predictable lives. No one ever does that on a Sunday night. Or you can also just go to ControlYourCash.com/feed to get notified instantly.

Again, these are the least average personal finance blog posts of the week, or at least the least average among the ones we received. If you want to get in on next week’s fun, submit here. Deadline is midnight, every Saturday.

(Aside: We’ve reached the point where we’re going to start every carnival off with a grammar lesson for the submitters who can’t write in functional English. Today, we’re going to learn the difference between plurals and possessives:

I bought the dogs some food.
I can’t find the dog’s leash.

See? The first one is a plural, and doesn’t take an apostrophe. The second one is a possessive, and does. You’re welcome.)

This week’s first entrant is a post-by-proxy. You know those CoinStar machines in the supermarket? The ones that let you pour your loose change into the slot and redeem it for paper currency? Of course you do, and you might even be dumb enough to use them. (If you let your loose change grow so big that it can’t fit in your car’s cupholder in the first place, you’re the 21st century equivalent of the Collyer brothers.) Nelson at Financial Uproar points out that using CoinStar machines is putting your money in an investment with a guaranteed return of -10.9%. Yet some people swear by it. If Nelson thinks an appeal to logic is going to convince retards to change their behavior, he’s got an exasperating life ahead of him.

Our research shows that nothing has started off with two Canadians since last year’s Juno Awards. Again, we love to break tradition at Control Your Cash. Sustainable Personal Finance explains the magic of compound interest, and the importance of paying yourself first: a stratagem that for whatever reason doesn’t come naturally to most people.

Few people write guest posts as well as Neal Frankle does, and this week the Wealth Pilgrim stops by Dough Roller to remind us yet again that retirement isn’t magic. You need to plan, forecast, save and invest now so you can drive around the continent in a Winnebago and complain about kids and their baggy pants later.

Did we mention we’re up for a Plutus Award this month? And that the guy who’s tallying the votes is intelligent, forthright, handsome and a god among men? That’s Flexo at Consumerism Commentary, who gives us 10 Tips to Avoid Overdraft Fees.

Speaking of awards, this week’s “Infomercial Masquerading As A Blog Post” is from Tim Chen at Nerd Wallet, who lists the Best No-Fee Credit Cards. (Redundancy saved by strikethrough. If a card charges a fee, then by definition you shouldn’t use it.)

Our three favorite Phil Taylors are that 334-pound rookie behemoth who debuts for the Browns this week, the guy who used to drum for Motörhead, and the creator of PT Money. This week he hands the reins to Ryan Sandberg, who lists 5 things you’re doing wrong if you want to build wealth. Here’s a creepy picture of Mr. Sandberg.

Can you handle another list of 5? Well, you’re getting one. Staff Writer (almost certainly not his real name) at Deliver Away Debt presents ways to pay off your student loans faster. He waits until #4 before going to the time-tested “just complain”.

You’re applying for a new job? Sorry to hear that. (Nothing personal, we just hate and hated working for other people.) But as long as you’re there, don’t leave money on the table. Free Money Finance explains how to negotiate.

Why should Australians move to another country to retire? Cheaper produce. Seriously. At least according to Kelly at Frugal Living. (By the way, Kelly: Bali? Not a country.)

Sweet Lord, another list of 5? Jonathan Milligan at CPA Career Coach presents that many “cool” ways to use Indeed.com. Because nothing’s “cooler” than posting your résumé, teens. Including cigarettes and sex.

Posts like this one from HSH are always fun. Richard Barrington lists the 12 best cities not to live in, but to live in the suburbs of. He even ratiocinates his findings to the 2nd decimal place. (To give him credit, he does practice what he preaches, living in a small town outside Rochester.)

It’s adorable that Tim Fraticelli at Faith and Finance thinks that people will heed his list of 33 ways to make money off the clock, but it’s there if you want it. Our favorite suggestion of his is to let people park on your property if you live next to a stadium, even though

To be honest, I’m not sure if you have to have a special permit, but it was worth bringing up as an idea!

Thanks for that, and thanks on behalf of the people who are good at graphic design yet never thought of charging people for it.

(FirstCreditCardResource.org, you sent 5 horrible posts this week, each worse than the previous one and each with a different byline. At this rate, sooner or later you’ll stumble across a contributor who can write. When you do, we’ll reconsider you. In the meantime, learn from someone literate. Such as…)

The efficient market is the stuff of hypotheses and textbooks. Mike Piper at The Oblivious Investor understands that that’s not how the real world works, but wonders whether it’s worth it to spend your time looking for inefficiencies.

Diversify your portfolio, create an emergency fund, don’t panic…Consumer Boomer has figured out all the things you should do to avoid stock market pain. A welcome relief, because we never would have thought of any of that.

We’ve got a new trusting soul entrant this week, the modestly styled Personal Finance Whiz. He got our attention by claiming that he’d figured out how you can pay a $221,800 mortgage off in only 5 years. So how do you do it?

By making $4,185.64 monthly payments! Wasn’t that easy?

Michael German at Everything Finance Blog gives half-hearted recommendations for credit cards “for job seekers”, who presumably want different rewards and credit limits than the rest of us. There’s also some meaningless references to interest rates in there, which any CYC reader knows are the least important features about credit cards.

Wait…there are wimmens who make more money than their men? Sure. Maybe those same females will even be voting and driving some day. Next thing you know they’re going to be attending school, too. Crystal at Budgeting in the Fun Stuff lives in this future world, and apparently her husband allowed her out of the kitchen long enough to write about it.

Thanks again for joining us. Y’all come back next week, right?

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