South Dakota’s largest city boasts a metro population of almost a quarter-million people. Crimes occur at about half the rate they do across the country, and from personal experience we can attest to the friendliness of the locals. Hotel chains include Staybridge Suites, Holiday Inn Express (2 of them!), Residence Inn, Hampton Inn, Candlewood Suites and dozens more.
The local animal control treats dogs and cats with what we can only assume is traditional American compassion. Toilets in public places are of the single-fixture-to-a-stall variety.
In other words, Sioux Falls is a far better place to hold the Olympics than the site the principled, honorable, incorruptible International Olympic Committee ended up selecting without any regard to payoffs or bribery. Sioux Falls even has a skiing venue, kind of. The Olympics in general are the worst thing ever – cost overruns, Palestinian terrorists, the 1972 men’s basketball gold medal game, pretending the Republic of China doesn’t exist, wishing Israel would disappear, Matt Lauer. Each time, it’s 7 years’ worth of obscene capital expenditures for 2 weeks’ worth of glorified track meet. The U.S. could set an example by bailing out, given that we’re already home to the world’s most elite leagues in several sports. We could leave the Olympics to Cameroon, Niger, Malaysia…nations whose pride really is contingent on this overblown biannual get-together. If the Olympics really are important to your country, your country is thus by definition second-rate.
Onto the submissions. Last week we ran a post from Chris, the semi-functional Mongoloid who runs Easy Extra Dollar. This week, he sent us the exact same post. The blame lies with us, because we failed to notice last week that the post is a year old: it celebrates its birthday on the 20th. The excerpt we ran in the previous carnival was the best illustration we could find of his profound illiteracy, so it’s all we can do now to show you the 2nd-best example of such:
Part times jobs before were hunted by many people who don’t have any stable job. So, these people use to have 3-4 part times jobs and use it as their source of income for them to pay their household bills. With this reason, many of the plentiful part time jobs were already not able in your locality.
Chris claims to have an MBA. He also has a wife and 2 kids, both of whom would be better off being raised by feral dogs than having this moron for an authority figure.
It’s not that he’s stupid. There are plenty of stupid people. It’s that he’s so stupid, he doesn’t even know his role. If he’s smart enough to know to put a picture of his face on his About Me page, as opposed to, say, a picture of his elbow or a rhododendron, how is he not smart enough to think, “Maybe writing down my incoherent thoughts and paying a web hosting service to help me share them with the world is not something I should be doing”? How does he remember to feed himself? Or to alternate inhaling with an exhaling, instead of doubling up on one or the other? Alyssa Lommel loses all 10 fingers, but Chris is still able to pound away at a keyboard with impunity until sort-of words come out. If this is a just universe, Chris will end up frozen on his doorstep while 10 shots of tequila course through his bloodstream. At least he doesn’t need alcohol to feel no pain in that overmatched brain of his.
(Post rejected because it comes from 2009Tax.org. Another guy whom we berate every time for making a mockery of the proceedings, and yet he continues to mock away. Why do we do this again?)
We’re still deep in the woods. Jon Haver at Pay My Student Loans sends us a month-old post about how to stretch out your loan payments to 20 years. Loan methadone. Government programs to mollify the effects of the other government programs you took advantage of to get in this mess in the first place. The bureaucrats win on both ends, as do the mindless millions who indirectly support them and thus help perpetuate this nonsense. You’ll never get out of student loan debt. Stop pretending that you ever might.
Joshua Rodriguez at CNA Finance discovered thin air, the substance that the Federal Reserve creates “quantitative easing” out of. And can we stop using euphemisms? QE is the name of the process under which the Fed trades cash reserves to banks for bonds. The Fed isn’t printing money so much as it’s creating liquidity. The problem is, it isn’t working. You know, this really warrants a post of its own rather a hastily scribbled paragraph in what’s supposed to be a summary of Joshua’s post.
Mark Ross Canaoay at Money Saving Dude reviewed The Millionaire Next Door.
Time for the heart of the order. Paula Pant at Afford Anything received an email from an ambitious emailer. Instead of giving him* general advice, she asks him to assess his life situation, income potential etc. first. Paula also recommends creating an emergency fund, but we’ll gloss over that.
Every week, we can count on Jason at Hull Financial Planning to fit at least one $10 word seamlessly into his post. This week that word is “psychophysical”, used to explain why humans become perversely more numb the greater the tragedy. Honestly, which affects you more – a paper cut, or the conflict in the Niger Delta? (Google it.) Also, we’re better at addition than we are at division:
When asked whether they wanted to pick from a jar that had 1 winning red jellybean and 9 losing white jellybeans or 7 winning red jellybeans and 93 losing white jellybeans, people invariably chose the latter bet.
We are a dumb, dumb species.
Are you saving too much for retirement? Or to rephrase the question, are you too hopeful about how long you’ll live? PKamp3 at DQYDJ.net dispels the idea that advice created for the masses must therefore apply to the outliers, many standard deviations from the norm.
Justin at Root of Good explains that reaching any financial goal, particularly full independence, isn’t a discrete event. It’s a process, hopefully one that takes less than most of your life.
When I was young, my dad’s favorite line to get me to do something that he didn’t want to do was, “You’re young, your time isn’t worth as much as mine.”
Then why are old people so damned slow? They should be driving faster than the rest of us, and trying to get through the checkout lane as quickly as possible. Come on, is time precious or not?
*We don’t know what sex the emailer is. We would have assumed female but that means we’d have written “Instead of giving her general advice…”, which makes it sound as though Paula, the presumed antecedent of the pronoun her, has a reservoir of general advice that she taps to answer every emailer’s questions with.