February’s (F)RotM

Guys, you may think your nonexistent student loan balances are a good thing. Today we'll learn what you're missing.

Guys, you may think your nonexistent student loan balances are a good thing. Today we’ll learn what you’re missing.

 

We haven’t done one of these for a few months, so it’s about time. The obstinacy and pigheadedness of these people deserves to be called out and made fun of at every opportunity. And here’s an opportunity.

Let’s start with a non-rhetorical question this time:

What would it take to convince you that you’re wrong? How big a mountain range of evidence would have to appear on the other side of an issue for you to at least perhaps think about the possibility that your previously held beliefs are incorrect? Even (or especially) if you have great incentive to justify those beliefs to yourself?

Meet Sally Bohlinger, staff Pollyanna at Young Adult Money and all-around naif. One thing about Sally though, she’s an original. She’s the only personal finance blogger on the planet who has incurred tons of student loan debt, then chose to write about and justify it. Nope, there’s never been another one. Sally is the first. A true pioneer.

With my six years of undergraduate college completed, the reality of loans definitely sunk in more than it ever had before, especially when I finally realized the extent of the loans I needed to pay back. Right now, I currently owe just over $72,500

Well, you can’t accuse her of burying the lede. 6 years? At what is presumably called a 4-year college, or a series of such colleges? It’s the latter, according to a second post that she links to:

 I was absolutely determined to have that little piece of paper and so dropping out was not something I was interested in

We’ll give her credit for understanding that for her, and millions like her, that diploma is indeed nothing more than its physical description.

Here’s our favorite part, the rationalizing.

that is only student loan debt and I’m very thankful I don’t have any credit card debt (and plan on never having it).

I smoked my way into lung cancer, but the good news is, I don’t have emphysema! (and plan on never having it).

She initially decided she wanted to work in a television newsroom. We speak from experience when we say that a) TV news departments are filled with the worst people on Earth and 2) you don’t need a college degree to work in one. You do need a gift for repetition and insipidity, however, so our heroine might qualify.

But hold on, then she decided she wanted to work with deaf people, albeit in some unspecified capacity. No wait, she changed her mind again and now wants to work in a college admissions department. Which is what she’s doing right now, at a school that gives her perks such as…

…and that ellipsis is insufficient to foreshadow the drama that’s coming…

…reduced tuition. For the master’s degree she’s now pursuing.

 the opportunities that will arise from being back far outweigh any negatives

This is militant justification. Now she’s not only not using that antediluvian undergraduate degree in the real world that it’s allegedly designed for, she’s wrapped herself in an academic cocoon. This is the ultimate comfort zone. “I’m already here anyway, and I’m reminded of this place every time I get a letter reminding me of my student loan debt to the penny, so I might as well make this my home. At least until I find a 4th subject of interest to distract me from this current one. It’ll happen.”

We instituted a rule at CYC several years ago: never read the comments on anything on the internet, under any circumstances. We do try to set an example with regard to that, by not allowing comments on this site. (Primarily because we’re not interested in what you think. Alright, that’s not true: you can email or tweet at us anytime and will probably get a response. But your opinions about our site don’t deserve to be shared publicly, especially right here of all places.)

Then, like the filthy hypocrites we are, we violated our own rule. But the comments on “The Debt I’m In” are too good to ignore.

Good luck and congrats on the free MBA!

Way to go! […] free school is definitely the best- you’re very smart to take advantage of it!

Free school? How about a free job? Most employers will let you come in every day and earn money, and not even charge you for the privilege.

That’s great that you found a way to get your MBA for free

Christ, the comments on these posts are every bit as groundbreaking at the posts themselves.

I’m incredibly jealous! I couldn’t imagine having my education paid for like that!

And Ms. Bohlinger’s response:

It was simply too good to pass up! Especially because I won’t be adding to my student loan debt since it’s being paid for!

The exclamation points could have been smiley emoticons, so there’s that. We’re glass-half-full people here at CYC.

Great grad school set up! […] Sounds like you have a solid plan…best of luck!

Actually, she has a liquid plan. Or a gaseous plan. It constantly deforms under shear stress and takes on the shape of its container.

That’s wonderful you found a way to essentially get paid to earn your MBA.

That’s from someone named Shannon Ryan, in case you’re wondering “Who sees the same comment written 50 times on a crappy blog post and decides to add it a 51st time?”

Good for you not incurring anymore (sic) debt in grad school and not letting your undergrad debt prevent you from pursuing a degree

This is like saying to a 600-lb. woman, “You haven’t gotten up to 610 pounds! Great job! Here, have this entire Key Lime pie, I’m not eating it.”

That’s a good deal you have for getting your MBA

Are you getting it yet? See post, leave repetitive comment, repeat. Wait, here’s the dippiest one yet, from “Blonde Finance”, and gals, if you want men to take you seriously, maybe you shouldn’t be the ones inviting us to define you by something as trivial as your hair color:

Congrats on getting your MBA without adding to your loan obligations! I know that the mound of debt you have accumulated stresses you out; however, as long as you are not paying an obscene interest rate (8%+), I wouldn’t stress too much about paying them off fast. I would rather see you build a robust savings account and plan for life than pay down student loans.

You’d rather see that? Then you’re in the running to be the March (F)RotM. The student loans carry interest, you flaxen-haired moron. Every dollar Ms. Bohlinger puts toward a savings account instead of her student loan debt costs her more than a dollar. We know women have a hard time with math, even the college-educated ones (obviously), but holy crap.

Sounds like a great deal with your MBA.

I would say well worth it!

And on and on and on and on and on and on and on it goes.

The reason we deride these debt bloggers is because they consistently ask for it. Their prospects for continued underemployment are as formidable as their originality, and dwarfed only by their delusion. Again, when hundreds of your cohorts are making an identical lament, for years on end, moving from their early 20s into their late 20s without ever having achieved a thing except an ever-augmenting capacity for delusion (and of course, that vital piece of paper), maybe, just maybe, you’re the wrong ones and everyone else is right.

But that can’t be! I’m college-educated! That’s the very definition of smart! 

Sorry. Our apologies. We defer to your superior intelligence, and how well your application of said intelligence is working out for you.

www.ControlYourCash.com runs on the Genesis Framework

Genesis Framework

Genesis helps you quickly and easily build incredible websites with WordPress. Novice or advanced developer, Genesis provides a secure and search-engine-optimized foundation that takes WordPress to places you never thought it could go. It's that simple - start using Genesis now!

Take advantage of the 6 default layout options, comprehensive SEO settings, rock-solid security, flexible theme options, cool custom widgets, custom design hooks, and a huge selection of customizable child themes that make your site look the way you want it to. Automatic theme updates and world-class support make Genesis the smart choice for your WordPress website or blog.

You want to comment, don't you? You're so inspired/repulsed/curious that you can't keep it inside. BUT THERE'S NOWHERE TO COMMENT. What kind of messed-up site is this?

Go to our Facebook page and let fly there. Use the share buttons to email the post to your friends, Tweet, Google+, etc. Or hit us up on Twitter at @CYCash.

Checks on Sale Personal Bank Checks